Thursday 7 February 2013: Try This At Home

Due to the fact you probably won't do this for many years (until you have / own a house that you can or are going to redecorate, or at least can convince someone to do it, which is unlikely), the title of this post is perhaps a little bit misleading. However, as I've started, I may as well finish. Follow my step-by-step guide to execute one of the best and most scary practical jokes you'll never see the punchline to, and will probably forget you did. Here's how to do it;

1. Make sure you are going to wallpaper the house (Note 1).
2. Select your wallpaper you wish to replace the existing wallpaper/paintjob with. Then set it aside.
3. Go to the DIY store (Mitre 10/Mega/Bunnings Warehouse in New Zealand) and purchase a test pot (Note 2) of blood red paint. If anyone asks, it's for a feature wall (kinda true).
4. Rip down the old wallpaper or prepare the paint that is currently on the walls to be painted over.
5. Paint, in the blood-red paint on the wall in HUGE letters, the following.

6. Enjoy, and until the next time.

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   Note 1: This joke is based on a simple theory - one of territorialism (new word, perhaps). That being, a new owner of an existing house wants to make it THEIRS, meaning replacing the wallpaper/paint and carpet and drapes and stuff like that. As this joke will not work with a paint-based replacement system (Note 3), you must replace with wallpaper for this to work.

   Note 2: I don't want to waste too much money, and you won't need too much paint.

   Note 3: You will be painting on the wall. So painting over your own painted handiwork just destroys the time and effort you took to make it work, and them replacing with paint won't work either, but with wallpaper, to replace said paper, you must remove it, and to repaint, you also must remove the paper.